Download Formats: M4V, AVI, MTS, MKV, M2TS, 3GP, ASF
original title: John Carter
genge: Action,Adventure,Sci-Fi
imdb: 6.6
duration: 2h 12min
tags: Lost in Our World. Found in Another.
budget: $250,000,000
keywords: arizonadesert, mars, princess, alien, arizona, arizonaterritory, morphing, americancivilwar, gladiator, virginia, characternameintitle, malenipple, planetaryromance, branded, profanity, apacheterritor
I just saw a special sneak preview of the new Disney movie John Carter in RealD 3D. I must say, this is the worst movie I've seen in a long time. It's an Avatar wannabe with cheesy dialog, cheesy acting, cheesy plot, and not one believable character.
It's the perfect movie for the 11-13 year old crowd. But even for them it is easy too long, at least 30% of the scenes could be cut. And the 3D actually makes it worse, making what are supposed to be big epic scenes from a distance look like toy lands.
The world traveling plot device is much to complex. The green aliens are a 6 limbed rip off of Avatar meets World of Warcraft Orcs. The humanoid aliens are not inventive with their blue blood and ridiculous red tattoos.
The main actor may be the movie's only saving grace. In fact, I feel sorry for the actors with the horrible script they had to work with.
The special effects team looks like they worked overtime to try and save this monstrosity.
The one really likely character, a giant green 6 legged dog that runs faster than a bullet train, is not enough to waste your money on this flop.
Someone was threatened by an usher to be ejected from the movie for having their cellphone on. I wish I'd been ejected so I could have saved myself the 2 hours wasted.
The most amusing thing to hear, I kid you not, was the guy snoring next to me. Yes, snoring, at a 7pm movie, you can't make this up!
The one kid this should have appealed to, the 2 or 3 year old behind us, didn't really care either.
Don't waste one moment even considering this. The fight scenes and the "You killed him with one punch" garbage Wil make the guys wish they'd signed up to watch Steel Magnolias instead.
Worst movie I've seen since Home Alone 3.
People in the theater left making jokes like "I'm John Carter of Uranus!" That actually was said loud enough that the entire crowd laughed out loud. Instant sentiment poll. Good is subjective, but most people agreed, from their point of view, that it was at best, better than spending their night at miniature golf.
In the parking lot, one woman had a "Total Recall" problem. She didn't have a freaking clue what the medallion was all about. Now, I did, but I never had the "Total Recall" problem.
I went into this not knowing it was a series or anything. I'd have guessed some underpaid Disney intern pulled this completely out of their hat and got lucky that someone noticed the script and thought to actually make it a movie. I'll be honest, when I first saw a trailer for JOHN CARTER, I thought it looked dumb. It was the trailer with Led Zeppelin's Kashmir. But then I saw the trailer with Peter Gabriel's cover of My Body is a Cage and I thought it looked alright.
I saw JOHN CARTER and I thought it was actually pretty good. I liked it more than AVATAR, definitely.
By the way, I cannot believe how many people here are saying that JOHN CARTER is a ripoff of AVATAR. A PRINCESS OF MARS, the book on which JOHN CARTER is based, was published in 1912. That's James Cameron said that he wanted to make AVATAR after he was done with TITANIC (but didn't because the technology to make it would have been too expensive at the time), if I remember right. TITANIC was released in 1997. That's 85 years. I can't believe that people can't do just a little bit of research when we have the Internet. It would literally take lesst than two minutes to use Google to see if a movie is based on a book.
Anyway, I thought it was good but not great. I mean the action scenes were pretty entertaining but there weren't enough of them. And I thought Taylor Kitsch was okay as the main character but I didn't like how he speaks every line with a kind of forced and unnatural hoarseness. Lynn Collins was beautiful but why did she have to have a really fake- sounding British accent? Was she trying to imitate Carrie Fisher? But Carrie Fisher kind of had a reason. She was studying in Britain and just happened to pick up the accent.
I also didn't think the motivations of the Therns were explained well and it didn't really make much sense how they could be immortal but not bulletproof.
Still, the villains, Tal Hajus, Sab Than, and Sarkoja, were good. Sure, real life is rarely black and white but I really like it when a movie gives you a villain you can have absolutely no sympathy for. I kind of wanted to see a long sword fight between John Carter and Tal Hajus but it was kind of cool when Carter just slices off Tal Hajus's head.
I don't think you can blame Andrew Stanton and the writers for much of the problems of the movie. I read A PRINCESS OF MARS and I honestly didn't like it much. I have to say I thought the movie was actually better. It's more pulpy and fun than the book. The film's biggest (and saddest) crime is malaise - it's not that John Carter doesn't care about what it's doing, it just can't make us care, even though the magnitude of every event, conflict and emotion is as melodramatic as its Victorian roots. Check out Edgar Rice Burroughs' page here for information about Tarzan. A common misconception. Although it is true that Mars appears quite red as seen from outer space, this is due to large amounts of dust in the atmosphere. While standing on the surface, however, Mars would appear to be a more butterscotch yellow than red, according to experts. The reason why early photographs of Mars' surface (as taken by probes) appear red is because those pictures were taken in greyscale (essentially black and white), and later colour-corrected with the (wrong) assumption that the major colour would be red.
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